In a prior blog post, I outlined the broad principles that guide my life. Drawing upon Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a template, I identified optimal health as the most basic and fundamental need of the individual. I demonstrated how optimal health is largely achieved by fulfilling the requirements established in what I call the five pillars: sleep, nutrition, exercise, environment, and stress management. It is only after these pillars are adequately addressed that I recommend moving up the ladder to focus on the next layer of needs: finding purpose. 

Purpose will vary among individuals and can be difficult to define. I describe purpose as a general contentment with one’s direction in life, underpinned by a motivational aim that reflects one’s values and long-term goals. On a neurochemical level, this feeling is tied to the neurotransmitter serotonin. Unlike dopamine, a neurotransmitter that drives motivation and reward, serotonin is cultivated through behaviors that promote parasympathetic activation, connection, and meaningful engagement. Unsurprisingly, prioritizing the search for purpose in this manner often leads to a state of peace and tranquility. 

Based on my experience, the most effect way to foster a sense of purpose is by engaging in work that is both meaningful and cognitively stimulating, as well as maintaining healthy personal relationships. The concept of meaningful work and nurturing relationships is by no means new. Ray Dalio has written extensively about the importance of both in his book “Principles.” Similarly, thought leaders like Adam Grant and Steven R. Covey have explored these themes in various contexts. My unique perspective lies in linking the pursuit of work and community engagement to the fundamental need for purpose. I emphasize how, at the neurochemical level, this need is influenced and driven by our behaviors.

Meaningful work varies greatly among individuals, yet certain best practices can make its pursuit more rewarding and purposeful. Consider the idea that humans, to some extent, are all addicts, driven by our dopamine reward and motivation system. This system kicks into gear when we indulge in pleasurable activities or substances, often creating a habit or interest that often verges on addiction. However, the pursuit of pleasure without effort can harm our dopamine reward system, leading to an imbalance that eventually diminishes both dopamine and serotonin activation. The concept is simple: easy rewards lead to a less satisfying life in the long term. 

If we are to be addicts, let our addiction be the pursuit and overcoming of challenges, particularly those we encounter in our work. Engaging in this kind of challenge, one that aligns with our passions and calls for continuous self-improvement, can be deeply fulfilling. The journey towards a goal, fueled by our earnest efforts, is immensely rewarding in cultivating a sense of purpose. It’s the dedication and effort that matter most, irrespective of whether the goal is ultimately achieved. Such effort not only counts but also drives the rise in serotonin levels, thereby enhancing our sense of purpose. (In a later blog post, I will discuss self-actualization, where the results of our actions become the prime focus rather than the effort.)

The other key component in achieving a sense of purpose is one’s social connections. Fundamentally, we must seek people in our lives who provide security and respect, and it is our responsibility to offer the same in return. Essentially, we are looking for healthy relationships (having a clear value system aids in identifying such individuals). While there’s no set number for the quantity of these relationships, diversifying our social outlets is crucial to avoid over-dependence on just one or two people, as dependency can detract from our sense of purpose. 

Personally, having deep connections with my wife, family, and a few close friends works well for me, though others may find their equilibrium with a different mix. The core requirement of these relationships remains constant: they must offer security. By choosing healthy relationships, we lay the groundwork for behaviors that boost serotonin production. This includes emotional support, physical touch, a sense of acceptance, and shared experiences, among other factors. The serotonin boost we receive directly feeds into our sense of purpose, grounding our life’s journey in emotionally fulfilling and purpose-driven connections.

In this journey of strengthening social connections to support our sense of purpose, I’ve found certain principles invaluable:

1. The qualities of those you surround yourself with often become your own. Choose your company wisely.
2. Actions, not stated beliefs, are the true measure of a person’s character.
3. Shun group identities and reductionist labels; they foster division and hierarchical thinking.
4. Mastering the art of compromise is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships.
5. Refrain from unhealthy argument tactics, even if they’re effective.
6. To enrich your romantic life, consider avoiding pornography, allowing for more authentic connections.
7. Leadership is a vital interpersonal skill. Lead by example and embody the change you wish to see.

Adhering to these principles provides a safeguard against social isolation and fosters healthier relationships. Combined with the pursuit of meaningful work, they form a powerful foundation for cultivating a robust sense of purpose. Once the individual feels that have achieved this need, they can move on to the final level: self-actualization.